Saturday, April 17, 2010

my 4am ER adventure

ok so technically it all began earlier then that, but 4am was when the ER became prominent in this tale.

around lunch time my stomach started hurting and just progressively got worse and worse. it moved from all over abdominal pain to acute, severe pain in my lower right abdominal corner. it hurt to walk, to laugh, to cough...i was not a happy camper. woody picked me up and around then my stomach stopped hurting. dont ask me why, i dont know. sadly his presence didnt stop the coughing...

around midnightish when woody was getting ready to leave my stomach started hurting again...after waving to him out the window when he was at his truck i got down off my bed...fell on the floor from pain and couldnt get up. excruciating pain was shooting through me. every cough felt like i would bust something or rip in two. (now i have a high tolerance for takes a lot to make me even moan in pain). this? i was practically screaming. mols walked into the room and asked if i was ok...if i needed anything. i couldnt even talk. i cccould only hold a finger up to signal "give me a sec." after a few more minutes on the ground i was able to sit up and then to finally stand. molly got me some aspirin and water and then i went and got ready for bed. every cough i had made me freeze in place with a grimace or brought me to my knees...something was seriously wrong and i knew it. i crawl in bed and tried to get to sleep...i was tossing and turning in pain, but the tossing and turning only made it hurt worse. nothing i did could make it feel better..

i finally fall asleep around 1:30-2ish and wake up at 3:30 from the pain. clenching my stomach i silently screamed in pain with tears in my eyes. i knew what i should do but was i gonna do it? i wanted to call mom. i was afraid it was my appendix and that it was gonna burst. mi madre had hers out about 10 years ago and so i called her up at 4 in the morning (so 5am for her)...i told her where i hurt, how i hurt, and the fact that when i walked i was nauseous...she told me to go the hospital...i said ok and hung up. i crawl back in bed and try to see if itll go away. needless to say it doesnt...i sit up and try to blow my nose and when i couldnt even do that from the pain...i woke mols up and asked if we could go to the she said yes and so we (more like mols stand next to me and i just try to not fall or get sick). there was a group chillin in the 1st floor lounge...apparently they hadnt gone to sleep yet...and upon mols' announcement that we were going to the ER were...silent.

it was painful to ride in the car...i didnt car about cold or warm air...i just wanted to not hurt. we get in, i check in and they take us inside the ER section. did the usual urine analysis (yes this is relevant to the story). after sitting in the room for a minute, the nurse comes in telling me to put a robe on and that once im done he'll be back for a blood test and an IV. once the blood is drawn and an IV done he tells me im getting narcotics for the pain and that ill feel funny once it hits my whole system. wow...he wasnt kidding. i can always tell where the stuff is cause i can feel it run through the veins but this stuff? once it hit my chest and lungs i was done. it felt like a horse was sitting on my chest and that someone had just swirled the room and mixed my brain in with it. i swear my first thought was angie (amy poehler) from baby mama in the hospital when she says "this is good, whats the street name for this stuff?" i felt like that. sadly it only lasted a few minutes in my system. around this time is when i call answer. so i leave a voicemail and a text. of course he calls back while im getting an ultrasound...

but before the ultrasound...i got a lovely story from mols. sadly i didnt record it on my phone but i do remember some of it. ill share the highlights.
"once upon a time there was this girl...named rachel. this girl loved going to the hospital for the lovely IV drugs. she knew this guy named grant that loved to walk in on naked people...nothing pornish just...he was just weird like that. well one day they both tried walking into a room that had what they liked and wham! they were transported into an alternate universe!! there was the chuck-e-cheeses but you could actually see all the gross germs on the toys, the workers, and the pizza. rachel was on one side of the alternate universe and grant was on the other side. grant met some people and asked how come they always have clothes on. "because if we take our clothes off we turn into donkeys! ...and sometimes you even see little donkey babies running around" grant asked how they have kids.. "you dont want to know." (have i told you mols makes some funny/crazy stories? lol). so anyways the people in this universe dont get hungry...ever. rachel was looking for a hospital and the people said they dont need one in this universe because when they get sick they just eat the gross chuck-e-cheese pizza and get more sick..well rachel finds a hospital and says she is sick and that she needs some drugs. well the doctor agrees and comes back with a huge cottonball and tries shoving it down her mouth! she runs out of the building and telepathically connected to grant so that they could find each other. she tells him to not move and she will be there soon. well while grant was waiting all this food was right in front of him but everytime he reached for disappeared!! then this huge delicious looking burger got close but grant acted like he didnt want it. so the burger got closer and closer and started talking! it was taunting grant and finally grant took a huge bite out it and all of a sudden these huge rock cops came out of the ground and dragged grant away. when rachel gets to where he was, she couldnt find him. she asks her unicorn friends to help her and they find grant. thing is tho, they dont want to go back to their universe. they want to rule over this one! so rachel becomes the queen and names the place grantsville, utah where grant is a lord over it all. the end.
(yes, she really told this to me...with more detail of course...)

(yes you will be getting the whole have been warned). apparently one of the doctors was worried it might be a cyst on my ovaries. at this point i was praying "please no, please not this..." well the lady had a really hard time finding my uterus in the first place...much less find a good angle to see it from. so when that technique failed we had to go to another way. i got probed. this way worked apparently. apparently i hide my uterus behind my bladder towards my back...nothing wrong with that. it just makes it difficult for doctors a lot of times supposedly. head back to the room. chill there for a little bit.

apparently the ultrasound didnt give them any answers as to why i was in pain. the next test to steal me away from mols and the warm comfy bed was a CT scan of my abdomen. i about feel asleep is was so nice and peaceful. anyways...apparently they could see my undigested pills in my stomach...had to explain all that stuff. so thankfully this one gave them an answer that works for them...hopefully its the full and correct answer. i have a kidney stone. i know. so exciting. painful? most definitely. anothe doc walks in and tells me all this and then asks if there is anyway i could be pregnant. "are you sure?" yes. besides the fact that you just had two different ultrasounds, a CT scan, a blood test, and that im on my period right now doesnt scream not pregnant? well anyways he wants me to take a test anyways just so he could "get to sleep better tonight"...he walks back in and says they had already taken one from that urine analysis from earlier. he smiled and said, "Congratulations!! you are not pregnant!" gee thanks doc...i was sooo worried. anyways they did give me more drugs that actually seem to be working so far thank goodness. im pretty sure the kidney stone thing is something i inherited though be sure that i will do what i can to not get anymore so long as i can help it. i walk out of the hospital with papers, two prescriptions to fill (yay more drugs ill never finish off), filters, and a cup. oh goody.

mols and i get outside and wait for woody to show up before he heads out to work at the ranch in parawon. so long as im not in pain and i feel up to it, that double date should still be on for tonight. needless to say i had scared woody that i was in the hospital (he had been worried about me yesterday and i just kept saying ill be fine...ill be fine. guess he had a right to be worried huh?) so after he leaves, mols and i head to mcdonalds. while in the hospital bed i craved a mcgriddle (i like em ok?) so we stopped there and i grabbed one. told madre about my adventure i had gone through after calling her...and here i sit typing this and downing water like crazy...its nap time. im tired.