Love. Life. Laughter….while in a small town ER

Its sad that a hospital visit is what it takes to get the ME back that ive wanted. But well…that’s what happens when youre in a very small town hospital with literally nothing better to do than sit and stare out the huge window across the room and look at a trailer park. Yes that’s right…a trailer park.

Now let me explain to you some of the happenings before I got to view this lovely scenery for almost 24 hours. …

I got sick.

Lol…ok ill give ya more than that lol..my head was congested…I had the entire body fever…chills and (for lack of a better term) hot flashes…nausea when eating…I was a disaster (and yes this part Does relate to the whole story) and in two days went to the bathroom a total of 3 times. Tmi. I know oh well. Too late to take it back hehe. Ultimately I was taken to the hospital Tuesday evening and was hooked up to an iv with morphine..sound familiar? I had a fever of 102.5 and my white blood cell count was 25.9 (they like it between 5 and 10). Then once they determined it wasn’t mono they gave me some meds to actually make me feel better. That night I believe I was stabbed 3-4 times with needles (for bood and then the iv)…this too is important. Once I finish every drop in the saline iv bag…the nurse was adamant I get every drop. Ive personally never seen someone stand there and tilt the bag until it was empty…ya..it happened. My temp when I left was still over 100. So once that is complete I head home…try and eat some simple foods and take my meds (augmentin tastes terrible. I kid you not. Even when you don’t cut that horsepill in half its terrible. Im sitting here tasting it from when I took it last night. Ya…*shudder* vicodin…now there is another drug to give you the chills. When the doc said she was sending me home with vicodin I think my jaw actually dropped. Vicodin is what House is addicted to on House md. …this is serious narcotics). I take the augmentin, the 2 vicodins, and 4 200 ibuprofens as instructed to do by the doctor…extreme? I say yes. Went to bed. Woke up, felt nauseous, spat some gunk out in the toilet and promptly fell asleep leaning on the toilet bowl…2 hours later…what came up was black. Now this is where reading too much and being too educated can psych you out…one of my favorite books I read over and over is called the hot zone…it’s about the origin and outbreaks of the Marburg and then the ebola virus. “what hiv can do to a person in 7 years…ebola can do that in 7 days.” Its nasty nasty stuff and I have no clue why I love reading that book…but I do. One of the things tho is that ebola literally turns everything to mush inside and you puke black stuff within other stuff..coffee grounds is what it looks like fyi lol (and yes when I told the doc it was black, she asked if it looked like coffee grounds…it kinda did…) but anyways…no I don’t have ebola…no im not gonna die lol…but it was just kinda funny to me. I skipped my morning dosage of pills and slept and slept and slept.

Emily woke me up when she brought my saddle that had just been delivered…oh. Well…surprise! I bought a saddle. Ya..i know what youre prolly thinkin…a saddle? You work on a ranch! Are there not plenty of saddles? Why did you need to buy one? Theres not enough room to store your saddle anywhere is there…and how much do saddles cost huh? Well. Let me lay it out for ya…I bought the saddle 3^rd hand off blonde Emily here. Its an all purpose that was mainly used for barrels for quite some time. It’s an original circle y saddle with the acorn pattern detailed into the leather. The seat is roughed leather and is a lighter color than the rest of the saddle. Its in great condition and is a size 14 seat…it’s a near perfect fit and once im in the saddle on a horse, we’ll see if I like it even better…which im sure I will. Granted the saddle is built for a quarter horse build but that can be dealt with easily. Brand new saddles start at a thousand dollars…better quality are more expensive obviously. Now the ranch has this deal with a saddle company…you tell us what you want in a saddle (size, design, buckin rolls, cantle, tree, skirt…everything) and you get it half off from what we would normally sell it for and you can get it within a matter of days…(because they just throw the pieces together and voila you have your saddle). JR, one of the wranglers did that and payed $660 for his. What I spent was $330 for a saddle in great condition with a breast collar and shipping. If I want buckin rolls, I can get some later on down the road. I figure that I can spend 300 on a saddle that does everything I need it to and as long as I take care of it and keep it soaped and oiled, I can have this saddle basically forever. Plus, my major and what I want to do in life kinda demands I have some equipment. And having a saddle so I don’t have to rush to grab in horsemanship cause it’s the only one that fits me would be amazing and I won’t have to worry about stirrup length cause I already have it set to exactly how I like it. So there. I bought a saddle and I love it.

Promptly after em left the room…my next porcelain bowl encounter was a green one. Disgustingly green…called the doc up and asked if they thought I should come in…basically the answer was no. so Kirsten went and picked up my prescription and picked up a bottle of anti-nausea medicine. I took some of that, took my meds, had a little bit of light food (or so I thought) and about an hour later it came up too. After this final red experience I called the hospital…they agreed it wasnt working and to come in. they had saved a spot for me (small hospitals can only hold so many).

Pause here…im done writing and so hopefully theres a second part to this lol

and comment from blonde emily today referring to someone we work with..."i hope she gets eaten by an armadillo!" ...oh brother!

the things you think about when cleaning....

(written forever ago and saved for when i actually get to the library)

Working here at the ranch you have a lot of time to think over many many many things…incessantly. So here are some of my realizations laid out for others to know.

Ive realized I have a compulsive disorder…I count things. Not so much things, but rather chimes and bells tolling. It was something I did at home when our cuckoo clock chimed. I would count the tolls…and if I didn’t start at the first one I would just jump in and count from the middle. Having bells here for meals (2 per meal) I find myself counting them even when I don’t want to. Its honestly rather ridiculous but I suppose I could be way more crazy than I already am.

You are an alcoholic when you flinch when someone spills a drop of their drink and when you lick the side of your cup to get that last drop of a shot that got away from you. This ive witnessed…

Having an inner need to please people can seriously backfire on you. Lessons are learned that you don’t have to please everyone…and that definitely includes pleasing others. As long as you are pleased with yourself and heavenly father can be pleased with you then you are doing something right.

Im someone that needs human contact. I need my touch senses worked and frequently. I don’t mean in an inappropriate way…just I need hugs. I need a hand to hold. A lap to curl up next to, arms to fall into.

People read my blog. I know this for a fact. Thing is there are people that read this and then email me with snide remarks and slaps in the face. Here is another fun fact for the day about me…don’t freakin send me the email or any other form of communication because I don’t freaking care! I don’t want it!

Dear step dad. You are a douche. When I was little I wanted to be like you. I wanted to be cool and fly a helicopter…Im apparently too short. Even in high school I asked recruiters if I was too short…they turned me down. No I may have never said it but I liked you. I appreciated you and all that you had done for not just me but for my mom…you took us both in…loved and cared for us. Supported us and helped me when I wanted and needed it. no I never said thank you enough. Love and emotions weren’t expressed in the house…why did you expect me to hug and kiss you and tell I loved you before you deployed if we never ever did that in the first place? I loved that truck more than anything else I owned (used)…the day I totaled it I promise you my first thought was “man…im so dead.” And trust me…you think I just shrugged the accident off without anything? First off…I cried for my truck…not for the “freedom” I had lost but for the truck…the fact it wasn’t really mine…the money…the symbolism of the truck…and all the work and time that had been put into it. I appreciated you teaching me how to work on it. I appreciated how you set aside money for me for school…how you planned and tried to help guide me towards anything but diggin ditches and flippin burgers. ….now here I am and mom has come to me at times to vent…to cry…to forewarn me about the fact that you will no longer be paying my tuition with all that money you’ve saved since I was taken under your wing. Im graduating early because of you. I have to…mom cant pay for it and after all those talks of finances with you..well…I don’t want student loans. I may not be living the life you wanted for me…but as a whole im happy and healthy and standing on my feet. Now here is another thing….i appreciate the fact that for so many years you have cared for, loved, and supported my mom as far as I can see….as of right now? I couldn’t care less if you stayed in Iraq or Afghanistan. The way you are acting and behaving is hurting my mom and I wont stand for it. Quit being a puss and grow up. For goodness sakes youre almost 53 years old. Act like a man with a wife and 3 kids to support…and honestly if you don’t wanna have a thing to do with me…for the most part, that’s fine as long as you put a face on when I show up for moms sake. Support the other two…equally. Tye is your son. Honor is your daughter. Ben is dead and trying to make tye the boy you wanted ben to be is tough luck. Love tye for who he is and how he is. He is a smart boy and is most certainly old enough to make decisions for himself. Don’t push him. He’s stubborn and will push back and wont learn a thing at all. And that means church and religion and scouts. Honor is honor and given the proper…and I do mean proper guidance and support will be just fine in life. Give her the optimal chance at a normal life and do what is right for her. With mom, honor has come so very far from where she started. Let it stay that way. Consult mom. Don’t go behind her back. Love her. Trust her. She is loyal to you. She loves you. Me? I could prolly care less what happens to you because of the way that you have treated my mom lately…and my siblings. For moms sake tho, do right by her please and treat all the family with respect please. I looked up to you once. I wanted a husband like you once. Now? What I want in a husband and father of my kids is nothing like how you are now. Cherish my mother please. Treat her with the respect she deserves.

Mom keeps telling me that she likes woody. That she wants me to convince him Nauvoo is the place to get married in. she thinks we would work well together in the long run. I agree but I don’t say that out loud too much. It’s a touchy topic. Its usually tiptoed over…something only subtly mentioned. Honestly thinking about marriage is scary. I start thinking about my age…im 19. The absolute I would be proposed to I figure would be 20 which means I could be married before I even hit 21. Its scary!! But then I sit and think I could do it and it would be ok. But then the fact that im ok with it is scary and I flip out all over again. Im retarded honestly. I just need to chill. Woody wont propose for forever. I know him well enough to know that for sure….i think. Sometimes I freak because he says something and ill think that im wrong and that he’s ready. Im not ready. Im not. Sure I mean I could be a wife I suppose. I could share the cooking lol with him since he is a good cook…ok hes pretty great…and I honestly wrote the great part cause I knew if he was reading this over my shoulder that he would say something about being only a good cook….cause he and I both know he is pretty dang great…in more ways that one. I love him and I could be his wife….i just freak out cause I still see myself as a college kid…not married and in college lol…I mean I know it happens, especially in utah but…that just isn’t us. Ah well…

life...and the things that go with..

here i am in parshall colorado and i am surrounded by beauty and green for the most part. i love the little towns around me and dont feel the need for a big city. even with all this? i miss utah. never ever ever growing up did i ever think i would say that...

"i dont want to go to utah. i wont live there ever! there are too many mormons!" ...i want to go home to utah lol. i miss it. since being here the trivial things have honestly melted away. high school friends? i dont really miss them. college friends?for the most part, i dont miss them much either.

its the important things in life you think about (especially when you clean and work all day). i think about woody. about my family. about his family. about classes and credits. about my apartment and hoping i dont have to drop much money on it. i think about my future...the career i want, my goals in life. i worry about money.

the hardest decision i think i have right now in my life tho is whether or not to purchase a saddle from one of the girls here. its a versatile saddle and what with my plans and such ill need one soon.

housekeeping......i have almost become a nazi about bathrooms. i honestly prefer the bathrooms over the bedrooms and lets just say when someone comes in and messe it up or i find out someone didnt do it right...i flip. im sorry that other people want to get done asap...i completely understand. i want the same thing but finishing an hour early (and we are being paid for that hour off) and doing a half done job is ridiculous!! it takes 2 mins to fix the little things that are being left undone. im not asking for perfection...i just see that you have the time...(and are getting the money) to straighten the towels...make sure there are extra supplies in the cabinet...check note of needs in each cabin...pick rugs up to sweep stuff out from under them. working with people that dont do the job is draining on me. i know its life but come on people...i hate having to go around after you and fixing what youre not doing!!

PI attendence has ceased for me...after hours is spent watching criminal minds with emily or heading to the arena (the ropin' pen) in granby. i want to rope. i want to chase cans...(barrel race).

honestly right now i want to get away from the ranch. i need that break. im tired...im trying not to grump at people...but puttin on a face for the guests does take its toll. when i can ill just escape to the sick pen and brush and pet strawberry shortcake (shorty).

mosquitoes are vicious and are hard to kill this season...i dont know how many times ive smacked mosquitoes and they just keep on truckin...and they swarm ya in the middle of the day in high country with no water and wind. no bueno.

sure the week flies by but as a whole the season end just seems far off. i just want to spend my days in the saddle and at the barn.

my hats are dusty and dirty and a little curled at the ends. my boots need new soles. my sshirts are dirty and no amount of scrubbin gets the dirt out from under the nails until you pull the pocket knife outof the back pocket. days are hot and nights are layering weather (tanktop, long sleeves, vest, jacket, and then a wind and rain proof coat. pants are dusty, dirty, stained,and frayed. things that are on the list to buy eventually included spurs and the straps. a martingale and headstall and reins. a saddle blanket will be needed once that saddle comes in. its almost too bad i cant just have a horse and ride that to classes....ah well..that would be the best!

completely new topic...
mom yesterday was saying how she thinks woody and i would work well together. (im sure woody gets things like that on his end from people). "he could build the barn you would need and you would be able to tell him what would work best and what you would want for the horses...and you could help him do it."

and this next one i promise all ive ever mentioned to her was that when he gets married he wants to get married in the hawaiian temple...lol...it came up in a convo ok? lol. well since i was younger ive wanted to get married in the nauvoo temple (actually more like since that moment i walked into that temple) so mom keeps telling me and i need to try to talk him into nauvoo....well madre? my fiance and i will descuss marriage location but since im not engaged and therefore have no fiance im not going into that convo. ugh. thanks mom.

knots are still present under my surgery scars. hands are no longer nie and pretty...my wrists are strong and sitting is a limited luxury...i love it here but i cant wait to get back to cedar. im looking forward to seeing woody next week!!
fin for now

life as i know it here

honest to goodness this is the longest time ive been on the computer in forever. sadly mine is broken and cant do what i want it to...ugh.

so ive been here at the ranch for a month now. time sure has flown by. since getting here it has snowed. its hailed. its flooded...(under 3 flood warnings the other day and a tornado watch...) its absolutely gorgeous here though. another summary of what has been going on...more PI nights. went to the rodeo. had a banana in my ear, my face, and my back pocket...ive been out riding a dew times and well...lets just say the horses make it interesting sometimes. example: going down a hill yesterday the horse i was on decide to buck and kick the horse behind us...great horse though. she and i got a lot done yesterday on the trail. in the beginning she doesnt want to listen to what im telling her but after a while if i asked her to walk off on her own away from the other horses she would listen...and she neck reined some yesterday...

so many things i sit and think of during the week but i just never write it down to upload when i get the chance...ugh. lots of time to think on the ranch...i thought i would have a butt load to say but i dont. im sorry...so many funny things, silly things, beautiful things, etc and i just...they dont get written down.

well here are some thoughts i guess...i dont miss people back home in tennessee. sure there is a handful of people that i miss but people from school? old friends? not really. i miss the land and countryside more than anything. cedar city? i miss people there. miss the roomies now and then but as far as missing everyone there? not really. of course there is someone there i miss terribly but thats cause i love him lol and miss him.

hopefully mom gets the chance to come out to the ranch within the next few weeks and be able to bring honor. that would be awesome. i miss the little munchkin (who isnt so little anymore).

im going to have a compulsive disorder to clean bathrooms, kitchens, fold towels, fold the point (sacred point hahaha) on the toilet paper roll. so everyone...beware. and never. and i mean never will i have a bed skirt on any bed in the house ill live in. ill just buy a big blanket or quilt to cover it up if i have to. i refuse to have bedskirts.

bleach and 409 are prolly permanently soaked into my skin. ive gotten bleach on my hands (it burns) and bleach in one of my eyes (that burns). the kitchen is a pretty fun place tho. im still singing and dancin in there and now and then drop a jug of ranch dressing on the floor so that it explodes on me and the floor, walls, coffee maker...everything. the cook got a kick out of the time i was standing on the kitchen counter to get the leverage i needed to put the juice machine back together and when i accomplished my job stood up fast and did a celebratory fist pump (yes i really did). in the process of this moment i ended up hitting my head on the ceiling. it was classic.

my accent has gotten increasingly worse. some words woody and mom cant understand. sometimes i say something out loud and laugh at myself because it sounds so bad. example: i was saying the words "better than them" but it came out "better n em."

as far as food goes you never have to worry about going hungry...leftovers go on the crew shelf for us to devour at anytime during the day or night.monday is steak and shrimp. tuesday is fried chicken. wednesday is porkchop or stuffed duck and well......i dont have the menu memorized lol...but its definitely full meals...which i miss half the time cause im either serving em or working elsewhere.

ive started watching criminal minds at night with blonde emily instead of hittin up the PI. figure im just getting soooo hungover on my 1 rootbeer while emily is trashed with her H2O on the rocks...(classic i know).

well anyways im just gonna head out. ill have to write things down as i go i guess if my comp will ever let me do that. peace love and fin.

ranch adventures

aka...nights at the bar. saloon girl nights. boots 24/7. drama drama drama. no water. no hot water. laughs. jokes. hanging with drowsy water folks. bleach water. lemon oil. runaway jeeps with no brakes thats 80 years old. getting excited over rodeo night. falling in love with big bertha (the dryer). knives in back pockets. toothpicks always needed.

quote of the day:

--"if you too could just have a pillow fight and then kiss after that...that would be awesome!"

--"if you can get me some chocolate pie and then have chocolate chip cookies for me tomorrow u can be my new ex-wife!"

--"this here is miss tennessee" "really?!" "...yes" "thats so awesome! thats such an accomplishment!! what was your talent?" "...singing" (yes the person believed me...)

--"snow rain" aka sleet

--"need help getting it up there?"

people here at the ranch working:

brandon-texas...wrangler, maintenance

alex (girl)- oklahoma...wrangler

jared-indiana...asst chef

denton (D or Double D)- new mexico...wrangler

emily k (EM)- michigan...crew

JR- arizona...kids wrangler

will- south carolina...kids counselor

maya- wisconsin...wrangler

emily n- north carolina...lodge hostess

corrine- pennsylvania and colorado...crew and my roomie

kirsten- wisconsin...wrangler

jerymiah- idaho...head wrangler

shilo- idaho...head kids coordinator (and married to jerymiah)

alex (guy)- colorado/texas...maintenance

eddie- south carolina?...head chef

and em and i are off...we have to go but real adventures shall be in store lol...and pictures will be added to. i promise. take care and ill be back maybe sometime next week with hopefully lots more time

why yes i HAVE fallen off the face of the earth

first off.

im in colorado working on a dude ranch. my days include long hours and lots of moving around. is it my preferred choice of jobs on the ranch? nope. not even close. do i get college credit? why yes thank...that would make it better. plus the scenery...the guests for the most part...the weddings. no...not mine. chill out. there are several wedding going on this summer and one has a neat surprise...but so that i dont jinx it im not gonna reveal what it is. ill tell you after the fact with pictures to prove it most definitely if it does in fact happen....mysterious huh?

after exams i moved outa my dorm with the help of woody (and yes thats where the stuff i didnt throw away or take with me to CO is at...). because of stupid shuttles, woody drove me to the vegas airport (and no im not complaining about the additional time spent with him. not even close lol) barely made the flight (i used my medical excuses as reason to get a wheelchair and to make the flight lol). go to tennessee and its hot and humid. yuck. rain rain rain...yall heard about it. well the cumberland river in clarksville rose higher than than what hit nashville...interstates were shut down, etc. make it to the airport to leave tn and fly into vegas...woody picks me up and he and i stroll the strip for the afternoon. we walked that sucker 2.5 times...and it was HOT. we get back to st george and the next day drive to cedar and pack my stuff in the vue. after we were all ready we stopped in moab to see the delicate arch (gorgeous and quite fun i must say!) oh the adventures driving through utah...it really was fun and i have proof that a certain someone sings while driving :) we pull into the ranch late that night and go to bed. next day we just chill and i unpack cause i have to work the next day. (i had tons of surprises from woody and one of them? the belt buckle i havent taken off yet. i love it! thank you!) he got some in the vue for the drive back... (if he found them lol).

work work work. thats how life has been since i got here...which isnt bad. it keeps my mind off of things and i dont mind the constant moving (until my feet hurt though). my job is crew. i "housekeep" the cabins and waitress some meals (depending on the day) and do laundry. sadly my busiest day is sunday which makes this summer hard for me. i really needed that and ugh. on that topic im not the only LDS member here. a kids wrangler and the head wrangler and his wife are LDS and i absolutely adore the head wrangler and his wife. great people. most of the crew is here and more to come later today and next week.

next week tammy and chad will be here helping with opening week and itll be great to see them. which......everyone that knows tammy usually says that i look like her and have the same facial expressions and sound like her sometimes in my voice...lolfor the ease of being me i dont introduce myself as the sister of tammy...im just rachel. but...i have no problem with claiming her as family ;)

it has rained. it has hailed. it has snowed. it has been hot and sunny. it has been cold and windy. welcome to the bar lazy j folks! my daily wear includes some for of boots (either cowboy or rubber). my now favorite carhartt jeans and i button up shirt tucked into the pants with a nice belt buckle and either my cowboy hat baseball cap. my hands are constantly dirty and showers are required daily.

honestly i shower in the bunkhouse (better water pressure and more hot water). spare time is spent in the bunkhouse with everyone and long nights usually consist of many quotes, lots of laughs, raiding fridges, and a beer fridge being empty and sometimes a few hours at the local watering hole. multiple movies are watched in a night. bears are avoided when walking around places at night.

no cell phone signal. definitely no wi-fi. just clear skies, fun people, beautiful scenery, smell of horses, starry nights, blue jeans, and boots. those are things i enjoy out here.

my last trip to the PI (the local watering hole) involved me getting 2 phone numbers lol. im hoping the guy and his family can get me up on some of their horses and teach me how to barrel race (on barrel racing horses) and rope. i get time of some days and a whole day off on others so im hoping that i can fit that in this summer cause i sure would enjoy that.

well farewell til later. my ride has to be back to waitress dinner. enjoy this...and know that im still alive in lil old parshall, CO.

quote is appropriate to repeat:

"whats cookin good lookin?!"

and i am not rachel...im referred to as "shorty" or "shortstack"

fin.

st george bday party dos

i waddle. no i havent always waddled...i realized this yesterday...now let me explain. i believe it was because i was wearing jeans yesterday...which was the first day i had done such a thing since the surgery...the waddling was so that i didnt rub against the zipper and button. needless to say woody thought it fit perfectly with the whole prego belly thing. ...glad he got a kick out of it. so the result of this realization? im not wearing pants until i have to. skirts, dresses, and shorts only.

two exams yesterday...wish i could say they went stellar. that would be a lie. math exam? not even going to say a word about it. history exam? i was late and still finished confidently before others...just a regular test over the WWII-Vietnam era...not bad at all. got ready for the day, went with woody to his place...he made the pancakes this time...yes he can cook and yes its good and yummy. to give you an idea of how my stomach has shrunk lately...two pancakes (small-med size) plus a cup of juice and i was stuffed. i finished it all like a good girl since i knew finishing the juice would not be good with my dehydration record...ah well. stopped by the sig house on the way to st george to drop off a screw driver so one of the guys could break into his car. i was asked why i was barefoot "i have tennessee foot" ..."whats that?" "walk around barefoot" "...oh" (i think i single handedly just ruined all the work of unhickafying the south and tennessee specifically with that convo).

we stopped at a gas station on the way to st george and as we're sitting there a guy wearing a face mask and goggles driving something similar to a rhino parks in front of the store...the vehicle was registered like a car people. license plate...etc. now that was a new one. oh...and the noses on the new dodges? i approve. it kinda reminds me of a shark nose...angles forward with a slight hump right behind it. speaking of sharks...so my roomie carlie had to write a story in english...it was a world domination expo was what it turned out to be. it was her plan to take over the world and each roomie had a part. guess what i was?! ...the slave. lol. so the other day she added a part to it...the shanda!! what is a shanda you ask? it is a shark-panda hybrid! also known as the park. incredibly cute and dangerous. (from what we know anyways-one has never been successfully born at our facilities). this is what ive lived with for the last year...and sadly? im not staying with them next year...

drop my laundry off at his parents house (hey his sheets were in there too) and we head to jolleys ranchwear outlet...everything was going. they were shutting down by saturday. prices listed were not what they were going for. there was a rack of $1 shirts and shorts. all the womens jeans that had been $60 that had gone for $15 were gone sadly. boots were thin and few between. two MHT premium felt hats left. $1 baseball caps. what did i get you ask? over $200 boulet boots got all the way down to $75. for giggles i tried on one of the MHT felt hats. lo and behold it fit! kid you not. this thing is a $200 hat...got it for $70. and yes i looked at the $1 baseball caps. there on the pile was a trucker hat with carhartt on it. ...yes. i thought about getting it. upon telling woody that he says, "you still surprise me sometimes." woody didnt get out of the store without buying anything either lol...he got some cowboy up cowboy boots (they look good on him if i do say so myself) and some work boots that he finds exceptionally comfy and again lol look good. after damaging our bank accounts we went looking for a birthday card for bridget...found a great one but there was this one we didnt get. "look! i got you a scratch and sniff card! ...scratch here. *scratch...nothing. open the card* smells like a birthday card doesnt it?" ...nice.

got a call from madre after woody and i got back...she read me some bits from the email from dad. lets just say...i need to finish school fast and make lots of money and not spend anything. i need the scholarships and may change from the apartments i applied for to a sister apartment by the same people thats a little cheaper though its twice the distance from the school...i can count how many times ive seen or heard my mom cry on one hand and well...this added to it. i wish i was home for her...again i can count on one hand how many times "i love you" has been said between her and as the phone call ends i say "i love you mom" ..."i love you too baby." i lost it. i was glad i had walked into the garage cause i lost it. tears down the face...dried my face off, dried the eyelashes and walked back in...on with the night

dinner? straight from home moms kitchen it seems. no joke...the pasta dish? really similar to one of my favorite dishes mom does (spaghetti a la carbanara). noodles, bacon, spinich, olives, egg, parmesan, olive oil, garlic....both were equally delicious. garlic bread...yum. and then there it was...tomatoes and mozzarella with basil on top. im not quite sure what was put on it...i just know it was good. i had seconds. again something we would make back home...(and i admit that before we left i ate like half the box of it that was in the fridge...i was craving it ok?) the cake? the best part was just trying to light the candles...they melted super fast and literally drowned themselves and got wax all over the cake...it was priceless. lots of laughs and such going around the table. afterwards i finished up my laundry while my blog was being read by certain individuals at the table ;) and then a certain blog was shown to me...at least this time that evening i could hold the tears at that point where they didnt fall down the cheeks...

woody was driving the motorcycle back to cedar since it had warmed up enough consistently that he was willing to have it out of storage...that meant i had the truck. now i follow people well. i dont lose em cause of how i drive plus i pick vehicles out and i dont lose em even if they are ahead of me. i dont like being behind motorcycles so the order of just stay behind me? ugh. oh plus im driving with brights on the whole time so we dont have to worry about being pulled over by the crazy cops again. i had drivers ed....ive seen the pics...the videos. im sorry...i do not want that to happen to woody. i mean i know he pays attention and watches out for everyone else on the road but still....i could not stand to see something happen to him...on top of that? last spring..i was driving towards town and say something i wont ever forget. there was an accident...happened as i got close and *shudder* i saw him die. a guy on a motorcycle t-boned a car at 60+ mph. shoes fly. people trying to save him. all because the car didnt see him and turned in front of him. and once on the freeway im supposed to follow him but there was no consistency in the speed lol...ah well...got home safe. thats what matters right?